


Little Things

by beware_of_fangirling



Series: Destiel One-shots [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in a Female Vessel, F/M, Female Castiel, I Blame Tumblr, I Don't Even Know, I'm kidding it's actually not that angsty, M/M, Not related to 1D, Temporary gender changes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2603672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beware_of_fangirling/pseuds/beware_of_fangirling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel finally decided to take matters into his own hands in order to get closer to Dean, but is it really what either of them wants? (Nothing to do with the 1 Direction song)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Things

Dean and Castiel have already admitted that they like each other in ways that are not exactly platonic. They know they love weach other and all their friends know too- or at least the ones that haven't died yet do. Despite all of this, Dean refuses to let it become physical. No kissing, no hugging, not even sitting too close together. He refuses to go public about it, saying that it makes him uncomfortable, which it does.

Castiel might act like he's fine with Dean's choice, but an act is all it is. Inside, he longs for Dean just to be okay with this. One day, it becomes too much. He and Dean were just sitting there, on the bunker couch, watching reruns of Dr. Sexy MD. Dean let his head fall  back as he laughed at some corny joke and Cas just snapped. Timedly, he reached out and took Dean's hand in his own, intetwining their fingers.

Dean visibly stiffened, quieting immediatly. Awkwardly, he untangled their hands got up, claiming he needed another beer. Cas looked down to the couch, heart-broken and confused. If Dean loved him, why wouldn't he just be comfortable about it? They had talked about it before, and Dean stated that it was the vessel. The  _male_ vessel to be exact.

Cas made his decision right then and there. He wanted Dean to be happy with him. If that meant some changes, then so be it.

When Dean came back, Cas was gone. He quickly put his beer down and looked around the bunker. On his way out of the main entrance way, a slip of yellow paper on the big map table caught his eye.

_Dean- Don't worry. I'm fine. I just went out for a bit, but I will be back soon. I took my angel balde and cell phone. Call me if anything comes up. -Cas_

Dean sighed and crumpled the paper in his fist and dropped it back on the table. He was bummed and curious about Cas leaving so suddenly, but he couldn't help but smile and relax knowing Cas had his blade. If anything happened, he could handle it. If not, he would call them. Dean plopped back down on the couch, deciding to wait up for Cas to get home.

It was around midnight when Dean heard the door open, rousing him from a light sleep. He turned around with a bright smile, but this grin was quickly diminished when he saw who it was.

A short-ish girl in most likely her mid twentys was standing before him. She had long wavy cheastnut hair and chocolatly brown eyes. Dean had to admit she was pretty, and he probably would have hit on her if she wasn't in the bunker unannounced, and holding the love of his life's trench-coat.

"Who are you and where is Castiel?" Dean whipped out the gun he always kept with him, mentaly checking if he had the demon knife with him, which he did.

"Calm down Dean. It's me, Cas." The girl raished he arms in a defensive postion and gestured at herself.

"Give me one reason to believe you,' Dean spat out skeptically, considering calling for Sam but assuming he could take the chick.

"Sometimes you get boners in your sleep when you dream about that Dr. Sexy guy and the first words I ever said to you were 'we need to talk, alone'." Dean gawked at the girl. How could she know these things... unless...

"Cas?"

"Like I said."

"What happened to you? Where's that Jimmy guy?"Dean lowered his gun and slowly approached... Cas.

"I knew you were uncomfortable with him as my vessel, so I found a new one. Now we can be together, for real." She, uh, Cas smiled up at him and reached a hand to his shoulder, right where the handprint was. Dean knew it really was Cas deep down, but he was distracted by the fact that he cold feel her hand on the mark through his shirt. It was smaller.

"Dean? Aren't you happy?" Confusion and a bit of hurt showed in his, er, her eyes, which were not even the right color. Dean pushed aside his uneasyness and doubts, focusing on the part where he could be with Cas now, in public. He could hold his, ugh, her hand in public, kiss her... sex.

"Of course I'm happy. Are you sure about this though?" Dean smiled at his angel and took her hand in his own. It was too small, too soft, but it was still Cas.

She smiled and placed her free hand on the back of Dean's neck and pulled him down for their first kiss. Dean shut his eyes, but the kiss was all wrong. Yes it was nice, but it was glossy and slick, not at all like he had imagined it would be. Dean pulled away all too soon, but kept their foreheads pressed together.

"Sam's gonnna have a heart attack."

>>>>><<<<<

It had been a week. A week and Dean was going out of his mind. He pretended to be happy to please Cas, but he was at an all time low. Cas being inside a new vessel made Dean realise just how much he loved the old one and how stupid he was to let a dick stop him from expressing that. There were so many things wrong, Dean was able to make a mental list.

The first thing happened the next morning. Dean woke up with a dainty arm wrapped around his waist and too light hair in his mouth. The next thing was the voice. Jimmy's was deep and gravelly, but this new vessel's was light and girlinsh. I wasn't nessecarily unpleasent, just not the same.

The third thing was Cas' new eyes. They were a deep brown, not the soul peircing electric blue they should have been. Another thing was the lips. They were not pink and glossy, in contrast to the other, which were pale and chapped. Her cheeks had no sense of a stubble and her skin was darker.

The last thing was the one that really pushed Dean over the edge. He was just sitting in some motel on a quick and easy salt and burn hunt. Dean and Sam were reviewing the case while Cas went to get food. He- GODDAMNIT- she, came flying in witht he food bags after only fifteen minutes. Dean immediatly noticed the absense of something very important, and it wasn't his pie.

"Where's the trenchcoat?"

Cas looked down at her new blue cardigan before smiling up at Dean. "It was too big on this new vessel so I decided on something a bit better."

Dean slammed his hand down on the table, causing Cas to jump in surprise.

Sam cleared his throat awkwardly. "Oh hey, look, it's my bedtime. Night guys. If you have angry sex keep it quiet." WIth that Princess Sam left the couple, taking his food with him to the ajoining room he booked.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Cas asked sincerily.  

"It's this new vessel Cas. It's just wrong. It's not you." Dean ran a hand down his face and shut his eyes tightly, hating the hurt tone to Cas' voice, even if it wasn't deep enough.

"It's still me-" Dean cut the angel off.

"Not really Cas! It may be you in there but it's not you. I miss you Cas! I miss you eyes that always told exactly what you were feeling and made me feel safe. I miss your short dark sex hair. I miss your stubble and your skin tone and your lips. I miss the callouses on your hands that came from gripping your angel balde too tight too many times. I miss your deep voice when you told me you loved me for the first time. I miss the way your eyelids crease when you squint and tilit your head because your confused. I miss the way you did your tie, never right, always off to the side and backwards. God damn it, I MISS YOUR TRENCHCOAT! I miss the little parts of you that I fell in love with. I know that apperance isn't supposed to matter in a relationship, but these are the little things that make you the only damn angel I can stand to be around. They make you  _you,_ Cas I know I'm the one who said being with you in the old vessel made me uncomfortable, but I was stupid and wrong and so distracted by your parts that I didn't realise that I can't have you any other way." Dean stopped and took a deep breath. "I miss you Cas."

Cas stood this whole time with tears brimming int he back of her eyes, staring at Dean in a mixture of awe and love. "Okay. If it really means that much to you I'll get Jimmy back. I stored the vessel in the bunker incase it was ever needed."

"Really?" Deans voice and eyes filled with hope as Cas took his hands in her own for the last time in that vessel.

"Really. Quite frankly I miss it too. This vessel in much smaller than his." Dean just nodded, wanting to kiss Cas, but also wanting to wait to do it properly. He knew that time would be soon.

>>>>><<<<<

 Cas returned an hour later. Dean looked up at the familiar sound of wings, catching Castiel's eyes. His blue eyes. Dean had never been happier to see them. He got up wordlessly and stalked straight over to his angel. He grabbed the lapels of Castiel's trenchcoat and pulled him in for a long, passionate kiss. They stood there together, ignoring Sam's cry from the back of the room.

"IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!"


End file.
